The night was still young. Serpents had been slain. Treasures recovered. But now, it was time for an adventure of a different sort. We were about to descend into the GLORY HOLE DWARVEN MINE.

I expected puns, ponderous mapping, and possibly we would discover if Dwarven women had beards or not. (Spoiler: they do!)

The Owlbear and Wizard’s Staff Convention was in full swing. Competing with my evening slot on Friday was the famed Convention Curry Night, which had its own sign-up sheet. I remember thinking: what game would tempt a player away from the lure of vindaloo and lager?

Well… what’s spicier than a Glory Hole?

I’d picked up the Judges Guild module maybe a year earlier, cheap on eBay. If I’m honest, the title alone sold it. A quick skim revealed there were bits I’d never use. Without spoiling too much, there’s a section where PCs can find garbage cans, baseball bats, and flashlights. Artifacts from a ‘modern’ past.

Still, the core dungeon looked strong. A sprawling mega-dungeon focused on faction play, with rival groups exploring the gemstone mines outside the City State of the Invincible Overlord. That alone made it worth a spin.

I loaded up my event onto the schedule, and soon after Matthew — the organiser of OBWS, lovely bloke all around — asked if he could put a disclaimer on the game listing:

“There is no X-rated content in this game.”

Of course! The idea only added to the absurdity of the module’s name.

Lewis Pulsipher reviewed the Glory Hole in 1982:

“This was a decent idea, for the most part, but inadequately produced.”

How you butchered my boy, Lewis.

Well, I was about to find out for myself. Five players had signed up.

Game Prep

Unlike The Setian Vault, which I wrote myself and have run in my campaign, this dungeon was totally alien to me. I’d selected it before even finishing a full read-through.

I’m confident at winging things, but I sat down properly in the weeks leading up to the con to give it a full comb-through.

And there were… issues.

• It’s written for the Judges Guild Universal System, which is basically D&D with the numbers filed off. No big deal at first…
• Until I noticed the monsters were D&D-adjacent — but not quite. Gargoyles in the module, for instance, didn’t require magic weapons to be hit. “Ettins” were renamed multi-headed ogres and had different stats entirely. There were plenty of unique monsters.
• There are tons of factions, all with plans. But the NPC stats are in one section, and the encounter text in another. Not ideal for con play with all that potential parsing.
• The place is huge. Would this even work as a one-shot?
• It recommends a party with a combined 50–60 character levels. That probably presumed a large table of players with mid-level PCs. I didn’t have that.

But hey — I had sign-ups, and I’m not one to back down from a challenge.

So I said: fuck it. Generated some level 10 characters from osricrpg.com, and slid up to that Glory Hole to show it who was boss. To help the players out, I pre-selected the spells for the casters. I also made notes for segment casting times and durations for each spell. I wanted to minimise looking up rules as much as possible during the game.

I decided to use the monsters as written in the module. I skimmed the NPCs, started making some faction notes, but eventually said: to hell with this, I’ll improvise.

Fast forward to Saint Patrick’s Irish Club. Friday evening. The sun is setting. Dark forebodings. I sip my Guinness. Equally dark. My eyes are dark also, though not through choice. I’m wearing my sunglasses. Why? Because a few days ago I lost my prescription glasses. This is the only way I can see.

Sunnies in a darkened hall probably had everyone thinking I was that guy who wears sunglasses in the pub. Ha! Let them.

Behind my inky black lenses, I had enhanced powers of obscurement.
Witness my ultimate poker face.

Then the players arrived at the table.

“Are you here for the Glory Hole?”

The Party Gathers

• James Knight – Meomesiene, Human Cleric (10), Lawful Good
  Items: Helm of Comprehending Languages, Potion of Invulnerability, +1 Small Shield
• Andrew – Godanova the Spiritual, Half-Orc Fighter (10), Chaotic Evil
  Items: +2 Two-Handed Sword, Potion of Growth, Scroll of Protection from Possession
• Darren – Okar, Dwarven Fighter (7), Neutral
  Items: Javelins of Piercing, Potion of Gaseous Form
• Andy – Kurlacon the Fearless, Human Thief (10), Chaotic Neutral
  Items: …Sweet Water (very useful)
• — – Alin the Eldritch, Human Magic-User (10), Lawful Evil
  Items: Potion of Healing ×2, Potion of Copper Dragon Control, Scroll (Wall of Force), Wand of Enemy Detection

Note: No one picked the Illusionist I’d generated. Bummer. All the magic items were generated by the website. Some characters were luckier than others.

Second Note: One player’s name is missing — he arrived late and I forgot to note it on my record sheet. If you’re reading this, drop me a line!

The character sheets for this session weren’t printed on the fancy fake Goldenrod stock. I kept them cleaner: just the stats, saves, attack matrix, damage ranges, boxes for magic items, and all their prepared spells. Still, despite best efforts, they came out cluttered — as is tradition.

Players picked their characters as they arrived, first come, first served. They also chose from my pool of Ral Partha miniatures.

“I think I had this miniature back in the day!”

As a small bonus, I let the players roll 2d6 light footmen to accompany them.

I then asked the party to select a leader. Andy — with his tenacious thief — took the mantle.

I grew solemn.

“Now, I need at least one of you to step up to be the mapper. It won’t be an easy job.”

No kidding. Mapping this mine would not be a cakewalk.
(SPOILERS BELOW!)

With gusto, Andrew stood and declared he was the man for the job. A brave soul. He had no idea what awaited him.

One last piece of upkeep:
The number of magic javelins needed to be rolled.
The MU needed to choose what type of Elemental he’d try to summon. Earth was the obvious choice.

We had a date with a Glory Hole.

The Goblinoid Massacre

The party strode into the place like Don Juan. And why wouldn’t they, for God’s sake? Look at them — levels dripping off every limb.

After some tunnels, they entered a large hall filled with empty mining crates. Up ahead, they spotted another adventuring party led by an Amazonian warrioress. The party had rolled surprise on her and so hooded their lantern. They watched. They listened. The female leader spoke — something about following a map.

The players decided to shadow them from a distance.

That continued for a bit… until a random encounter occurred (there are so many random encounters on this level — I guess that’s to simulate the crowds of parties and monsters descending into the mines).

I rolled: goblins.

Time to see what the party could do.

In a single one-minute round, the dwarf and the half-orc annihilated all twelve.
Those poor 1d6+2 HD gobbos never stood a chance. Their bodies lay brutalised across the battlemat.

A short while later — another goblin encounter.
You guessed it: more carnage. This time nine goblins. Gone. In under a minute.

“I roll five hits.”
“I roll six”
“Someone pass the man more d10s.”

These encounters caused the party to lose track of the Amazon’s trail. With no Rangers among them, they couldn’t trace her.

Four gremlins jumped out next — and died almost immediately.

The party was descending deeper. They now carried sacks of pilfered silver pieces. Alin the Eldritch hopped into a mine cart and rode down into level two.

Mutiny!

A quick jaunt through this level, it must be said.

As soon as they entered the area, they came upon an elevator shaft.

“Well, we want to go deep in this Glory Hole, don’t we?”

There was a resounding yes.

The lift worked by a set of man-powered wheels. The party demanded two of the light footmen man it and send them down. After a loyalty roll, they weren’t too happy about that. Alin the Eldritch stayed behind with them, essentially strong-arming them into the work.

The party descended in the lift and came upon a Cave Fiend — one of those new monsters. I quickly scanned the monster entry. It had good odds to surprise the party, but no luck on the dice. It sat there, squat and grey, eating two Dwarven corpses. We diced initiative. It took them two rounds to slay it.

Meanwhile, on the upper level, the two men-at-arms were whispering, readying to betray ‘ol Alin — throw him down the shaft! Alin overheard their plans and, with a quick magic missile or three, sent the men to their doom.

Unfortunately, this caused a random encounter, and bumbling into the room came a two-headed ogre who thought Alin looked like a most tasty morsel.

The wizard was snatched up, but a bit of luck with a reaction roll — the two heads started arguing over who got to take the first bite. The rest of the party below managed to race back up the shaft to save poor Alin before he became chow, killing the ogre in a couple of rounds.

Long-Legged Freaks

Torches lit. Their sacks in hand. The party returned down and explored some more. Graph paper was being thrown over to Andrew rapidly.

Through the caverns they trod. Into a huge chamber filled with more of those ore bins. There was a cave bear. That was one-shotted. The party didn’t even ask about skinning the thing. Whatever was going on!

But aha! Inside those bins awaited a nasty surprise: Black Widow Spiders. The Black Widows looked puny in the manual, so I rolled giant poisonous spiders from the MM instead. Aha! A challenge at last.

No.

The party was not surprised. Then some magical flying javelins took off. Magic missiles shot out. The fighter was smashing out three hits in round one. It was over fast. A hit or two from the spider venom was all saved.

Inside the bins was ore. There’s a mechanic for determining what kind. It was Fine Silver. The party took a bit, but it was bulky — and surely there would be better treasures ahead.

RIP Bong, Gono, Bond, Falty, Salty, Arco, and Tarco

The party carried on and soon found another lift. This one went all the way to the sixth level. They descended level by level.

On the way, they encountered their first group of dwarves. There were twenty of them, and the first six ranks fired bolts from crossbows at the party. Each firing, then dropping to a knee. That was nine shots in a round. Did the party take damage? Hardly. They charged in and slew seven of the poor bearded lads in two rounds.

The morale dice demanded the rest surrendered. After a brief back and forth, the party gave them some treasure and asked the survivors to join them deeper into the mine. On their travels, they had found a few veins of precious silver.

A few words were spoken for the fallen dwarves, who were named Bong, Gono, Bond, Falty, Salty, Arco, and Tarco.
Yes, the module names every dwarf NPC.

Deeper Still

It was growing late in the day. The party had now descended all the way to the sixth level. How many times had I described forty-five degree passages and Y-shaped intersections? Undetermined.

The party had slain Cave Fiends, trolls, and a few green gargoyles.

During one particularly nasty combat against gargoyles, Alin the Eldritch had summoned a horde of troglodytes to his aid. Unfortunately, the stench from these beastmen had hampered the party’s own attacks.

But we were deeper now — in both pints of Guinness and shame. How many Glory Hole puns had we made? Never enough.

The party came upon a second Dwarf party, this time led by the exquisitely named Meathead Gilfath. This dwarf joined the expedition with gusto.

Soon the party were breaking through bricked-up corridors, sending their bearded miners ahead. These sounds almost always brought a random encounter, but these trifles were swatted away like pawns from a board.

“Let’s get through these bricked-up passages a little quicker, I have an idea. How much rubble have we excavated?”

It was time for the Elemental to be summoned.

Don’t Lose Control

The wizard Alin summoned his servant from the Plane of Elemental Earth and bound it to his will. With it, they smashed through several bricked-up chambers. The frequency of these sealed portals now led the party to believe they were on the track of a great treasure.

“Okay, you’ve moved twice with the Elemental out in front of the party. Roll a d20 ten times. Don’t roll a one.”

The players gathered their heads around the die. Alan’s player began rolling. He was nearly through them all… when that natural one appeared out of his fist. The table let out a roar.

The Elemental had turned against its master.

The 16 HD creature did more damage than anything else previously. Spiritual Hammers were thrown. Magic javelins loosed. HP was lost. The party were eventually victorious — but at some cost. Plenty of dwarves and men-at-arms were dead. Enough healing spells were used to fix up the party.

The Final Push

With that chaos behind them, the party followed a tunnel into a dark and natural cavern. There, in a high-roofed cave, they came upon the lair of the green gargoyles. The party found themselves pinioned in an archway as the creatures swooped down, ripping the dwarves to pieces.

The fighters had to step up and take the brunt. It was a punishing fight, and one particular gargoyle — bigger than the rest and wielding a magically glowing sword — caused serious pain.

In the end, the party caused the gargoyles great losses and drove them to flee up a large tube in the chamber’s ceiling, leaving behind a huge haul of gold coins — and the gargoyles’ eggs.

These were unceremoniously smashed. A shame, really. They could have made very unique pets in a campaign. Never mind. The victory was deserved.

The party packed up their coins. We had a brief calamity whilst getting back out of the dungeon. Time was running out. We counted out the moves. I rolled the encounter dice.

The party had spent twelve in-game hours in the deepest reaches of the GLORY HOLE, but they had emerged into the fresh Altanian air — richer, and alive!

The Happy Ending

As is tradition, I asked the victorious players to name their MVP. The legendary Andrew won without any contention, for he had studiously mapped the whole expedition and done a fine job.

He won himself a copy of Dray Prescot: 21 – A Fortune for Kregen. Not Appendix N, but a nice DAW yellow spined paperback regardless. Funnily enough, Andrew and Andy said they had just been discussing Kenneth Bulmer (the author). Andy has a great Moorcockian podcast where he focuses on SF and fantasy pulp fiction. I highly recommend it!

Summary

The first day of the Con had come to an end. I was truly knackered, but elated. My attempt at running a fast-paced, high-level AD&D, sword & sorcery adventure was a success. We were laughing a lot. Sheets of graph paper were flying all over the place. D8’s were dropping all over the table as the players also helped me tally up HD with all these monsters we were encountering. It was a blast! 

Will I run the Glory Hole at a convention again? Probably not.

Do I recommend it as a module for your AD&D home game. With conversions and a bit of prepping, absolutely! 

I recommend any DM to run a seat-of-your-pants high level adventure with minimal prep, it may raise your blood pressure, but it will invariably lead to a good time, and plenty of jokes! 

Until next time, Fight on!